Sunday, April 17, 2011

Dear brothers and sisters,

I am still very busy doing my research. Praise the Lord I can still discipline myself to write this spiritual journal to share with you.

This happened last Wednesday. I know one of my weaknesses is I am not that sensitive to people's hint and sometimes even their needs. Yet, I need to do pastoral ministry. God helps me!
Actually, the lecturer who always plays ping pong with me already told me Wednesday slot is for lecturers. I am a student and I am not supposed to be there to play. Yet, I go there every Wednesday afternoon at about 4.45 to play. Last Wednesday, I was told by the lecturer that I was not supposed to play as the principal would play at that time. Only then, I realized I was so insensitive. I felt bad and guilty about it.

The principal is also my lecturer and I enjoy being taught by him and I learn a lot from him on church and society. In that incident I also felt embarrassed that I was so insensitive. I did not like the feeling at all. I wanted to say sorry to him as soon as possible. However, deep down in my heart, I had a few struggles not to do it.

Was it necessary to do it? Had I offended him? Was I really insensitive? I need courage to say sorry? I need to let go of my pride? I had to show my ugliness to him? No matter how I tried to reason with myself I could not come to terms with it. So, I decided to do it.

The next day was the usual time of the college weekly chapel service. I was looking out for him. I saw him entering into the main entrance of the chapel. I reminded myself to do it. However, normally, I just do it. This time I was nervous and I could feel my heart beating fasting, I struggled and hesitated to do it. In the end, I believe Jesus wanted me to do it as the uncomfortable feeling was there. Praise the Lord I did it. I was sorry that I occupied the slot for lecturer at the ping pong table. He responded with a smile and said something to the effect like it did not matter. However, it was a big deal to me.

Brothers and sisters, in life, I believe a so called small matter like that counts. I am very much learning to say sorry to all people whom I offended. I pray that you do.

A faithful disciple of Jesus,
Pastor Law Hui Seng
(KK, STS, 10th April, 2011)

Posted by Teresa Han

Friday, April 8, 2011

Dear brothers and sisters,

Today I am 45 years old! I aspire to live as old as John Wesley (88 years) and beyond his age as his whole life is such an inspiration to me. His basic theology for all the Methodists is to love God (Jesus) and man. These are Jesus’ commands and he held them so dear to his hearts. I aspire to obey Jesus like he did. He was so compassionate for the poor and needy, love the sick, the prisoners, labourers, the oppressed and the slaves, etc. I want to be a disciple of Jesus following his footsteps.

As I learn to draw near to Jesus and love Him, I am amazed by how He blesses me throughout all these years. One of the very significant things that I am blessed by Jesus is this, I experience over and over again that Jesus is everything to me. You know what, my slightest thought of Him, everything in my life will fall into His perspectives. I know what he expects me to do. All the more, if my thought goes His crucifixion, my whole being will just experience a great fellowship with Him! I pray that I am able to say this again at the age of 90 years old, another 45 years later.

I had a great encounter just now. My hand phone service was disrupted. I told my wife (who is in Miri and with our 4 children and I am here in KK studying at STS) this morning my telephone could receive sms and telephone calls but I could not call out. She must make it a point to call me every night at 8 o’clock as I want to talk to my twin sons (who are poor in Bahasa Malaysia and they are studying in primary 6, facing the public examination UPSR this year). Last Saturday, my wife went to get their report cards and the teacher said one of them would fail if he still showed bad attitude towards BM! This is a wakeup call for me. I really do not want him to fail in BM. I prayed about what to do with it. I told God I wanted my son to get at least a ‘D’, a pass for his BM. Then, God gave me the idea to get my twins to write one BM sentence a day (8 to 10 words) and understand the meaning of every word and remember each sentence. In 5 months’ time (UPSR in September), they would master 150 sentences! With this effort, they should be able to pass.
I want to call everyday at 8pm to get them to read the sentence to me and I test them the meaning of every word. I make sure that they do it and they will develop confidence in this mission language! I also pray that such effort will help one of them to change his attitude towards BM. I always encourage him over the phone that he can do it as he is doing the sentences for 4 days now. As a responsible father, in a distant land, I look forward to that important talk with my 2 sons. I told them I was going to call them every day at 8pm to check on them and I always make it a point to encourage them. You see my father’s heart desire and how I long to talk to them and do my best for them.

The telephone service is disrupted and my communication with them is affected. I made a separate arrangement for my wife to call me and so that I can have important talk with the 2 children. It is my mission every day, my desire to do it every day. However, my wife did not call me just now! I used the college fixed line to call our home fixed line. But the line was bad and I could hear them, they could not hear me. I was so desperate to talk with my children that I called the fixed line at least 10 times though they could not hear me. I was hoping that they knew it must be daddy’s (husband’s) calling by this kind of call so that they would call my hand phone and talk. I even prayed in my heart that my wife would be touched by God to call me. I believe this kind of divine intervention very much. Then, I heard my eldest daughter said it must be daddy. Even after that, I still called a few times, hoping that my wife would call back.

What happened then? While calling with frustration and hoping in my heart that my wife and children would know it was me, I suddenly came to think of God, my heavenly Father. I was meditating right at the phone while calling. I can imagine my heavenly father who loves me who has something important to tell me for my good (like I want to encourage my twin sons everyday to learn BM and be confident to pass everyday); who tries all means to catch my attention but I am so distracted by many things in the world (like my wife who was caught up with children and forgot about my 8pm appointment with her), then, I am not open (and I am not sensitive at all) to God’s communication with me. I miss that important God’s message for me for my life.

Praise the Lord, God answered my prayers! After more than 10 times of telephone call reminding using the fixed line, my wife got the signal that it was me! Finally, I was able to communicate with my twin sons and I got to encourage them! I was glad that finally I could communicate with them. I believe anyone of you who is serious with God, you will agree with me that God would like to do it to you also, that is He wants to communicate with you and tell you important message (though I also believe He can also do it to anyone whom He wants to communicate).
Therefore, have you allowed anything to distract you from God in the person of Jesus speaking to you on something important?

A Faithful disciple of Jesus,

Pastor Law Hui Seng

(30th March, 2011. Birthday at KK, STS)

Posted by Teresa Han