Dear brothers and sisters,

I am still very busy doing my research. Praise the Lord I can still discipline myself to write this spiritual journal to share with you.

Sorry
This happened last Wednesday. I know one of my weaknesses is I am not that sensitive to people's hint and sometimes even their needs. Yet, I need to do pastoral ministry. God helps me!
Actually, the lecturer who always plays ping pong with me already told me Wednesday slot is for lecturers. I am a student and I am not supposed to be there to play. Yet, I go there every Wednesday afternoon at about 4.45 to play. Last Wednesday, I was told by the lecturer that I was not supposed to play as the principal would play at that time. Only then, I realized I was so insensitive. I felt bad and guilty about it.

The principal is also my lecturer and I enjoy being taught by him and I learn a lot from him on church and society. In that incident I also felt embarrassed that I was so insensitive. I did not like the feeling at all. I wanted to say sorry to him as soon as possible. However, deep down in my heart, I had a few struggles not to do it.

Was it necessary to do it? Had I offended him? Was I really insensitive? I need courage to say sorry? I need to let go of my pride? I had to show my ugliness to him? No matter how I tried to reason with myself I could not come to terms with it. So, I decided to do it.

The next day was the usual time of the college weekly chapel service. I was looking out for him. I saw him entering into the main entrance of the chapel. I reminded myself to do it. However, normally, I just do it. This time I was nervous and I could feel my heart beating fasting, I struggled and hesitated to do it. In the end, I believe Jesus wanted me to do it as the uncomfortable feeling was there. Praise the Lord I did it. I was sorry that I occupied the slot for lecturer at the ping pong table. He responded with a smile and said something to the effect like it did not matter. However, it was a big deal to me.

Brothers and sisters, in life, I believe a so called small matter like that counts. I am very much learning to say sorry to all people whom I offended. I pray that you do.

A faithful disciple of Jesus,
Pastor Law Hui Seng
(KK, STS, 10th April, 2011)


Posted by Teresa Han